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moriahbard:

Important cat facts:

1) Fat kitties is best kitties.

2) When kitties lie on their backs with their tummies showing, it means they feel comfortable. If they show you their tummies, feel honored! It means they feel comfortable around you.

3) THIS IS NOT AN INVITATION TO PET THE TUMMY. I know this is the exact opposite of dog body language and may be confusing. But even comfortable kitties are still tiny warriors and don’t really like people reaching for their vulnerable underbelly. Remember that when a kitty is on their back, ALL of their pointy bits are directly facing you, and they will not hesitate to use said pointy bits.

4) If a kitty loves you very much, and is very sleepy, it may be okay to veeeeery gently touch the tummy (though starting with the chest is the safest approach). If you are blessed by Bastet and all the kitty goddesses, the kitty will let you nuzzle their tummy with your face. This is the greatest sensation known to humankind. It is also an ADVANCED MOVE and should never be attempted by cat novices.

These have been important cat facts. Thank you.

bill-holmes:

how the fuck did we get from there to where we are today

cokosfunhouse:

i’ll only make a couple of characters and they’ll all have something important to do with each others plot!

image

funthot:

okay scary story time my sister hid this pic of Michael Jackson behind my pillow and when I lifted my pillow I saw this and I screamed so loud I can’t even handle looking at the pic omfg

theawkwardterrier:

The guy in front of me when I was getting ice cream tonight was wearing this.

What does "pendeja" means?

@Anonymous

lasfloresdemayo:

loved one

Tagged: #omg

cartel:

walking into the wrong class

image

wisteria-spirit:

this is so important

eziocauthon89:

safetytank:

i mISTOOK THE POLE CAP FOR PART OF ITS FACE

SO DID I

oldmanstephanie:

givemeinternet:

I love this post.

is that a fucking pun

pyrocynical:

playing a dangerous game

dean-the-piesexual:

OK STORY TIME I WAS BABYSITTING THIS 6 YEAR OLD BOY AND WE ATE POPSICLES, THIS WAS THE JOKE ON MINE AND I TOLD IT TO HIM, BECAUSE THATS WHAT YOU DO WITH JOKES AND SO LIKE A DAY LATER I GET THIS CALL FROM HIS MOM AND SHE SAYS “My son told me an inappropriate joke today, and he told me he got it from you” AND I WAS SUPER CONFUSED??? SO I ASKED HER WHAT THE JOKE WAS AND APPARENTLY HE SAID “how do skeletons communicate? They bone each other” I AM SO DONE